Juhan Viiding, a great Estonian, would have been 60 today. I have a lot of respect for him although I have not read a lot by him. Here is his last poem (see below for my English translation):
Kes? Johan.
Mis? Jalutas.
Millal? 1995. a jaanuaris.
Kus? Tallinna südalinnas.
Ja nägi kiviseinal valimiseelset müürilehte, millel seisis: “Eesti eestlastele!”
Johan võpatas, tardus paigale, vaatas üksisilmi ja tundis, et kaotab teadvuse või tasakaalu või mõlemad.
Kujutluspilditormis polnud võimalik orienteeruda, Johan kaotas aja- ja kohataju. (Ta nägi teisi aegu ja kohti, ammuseid – aga siin.)
Ja siis, murdosasekundi möödudes tundis ta, et peab pakkima kohvri, kui veel jõuab, ja lahkuma.
Järgmisel hetkel suutis ta meenutada, et kuulub ise samasse rahvusse, kes kõneleb keeles, milles silt seinal ja see kiri siin.
Seejärel kahtles Johan, kas ta ikka kuulub rahvuse hulka, kelle sekka ta seni oli teadnud end kuuluvat.
Edasi mõtles ta: kui mina lähen, kuhu jäävad või lähevad siis Maria, Jüri, Joosep, Hanna, Andres, Mihhail, Debora, Cornelius, Anna ja teised?
Ta küsis. “Vastu oma saatusele” – vastati.
Rough translation:
Who? Johan
What? Walked
When? January 1995
Where? Tallinn City Centre
And saw on the stone wall pre-election pamphlet, which stated: “Estonia for Estonians!”
Johan stumbled, froze, gazed and felt losing consciousness or balance or both.
In the storm of imagination it was not possible find one’s way, Johan lost sense of time and place. (He saw other times and places, distant - but here.)
And then, when a fraction of a second passed, he felt he had to pack as soon as he still could, and leave.
In the next moment he could remember that he himself belongs to the same nation, which speaks in the language in which the sign on the wall and this letter here were written.
After that Johan doubted whether he truly belongs to the nation amongst whom he had until now known himself to belong to.
Onwards he thought: when I go, where will stay or go Maria, Jüri, Joosep, Hanna, Andres, Mihhail, Debora, Cornelius, Anna and others?
He asked. “Toward one’s fate” - he was answered.
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