Life without a kitchen

I have now lived almost for five months without having a kitchen at my permanent place of living. This was not voluntary, but a budgetary decision. However, I have now managed to scrape together some money to get a kitchen installed and hopefully will get a basic kitchen still within this year.

I lived without a kitchen before, but then it was for a shorter period and I did live at a location which was at the heart of the city so whenever I was hungry I could very easily go to a shop or café. In my new place, I have still not located a suitable place, although I guess Kristiine Keskus will do if necessary. I thought having no kitchen would make me more free, instead it has limited my options: I have to struggle to find a place to eat, there is limited amount of foods that can be prepared with just hot water kettle, etc etc.

On the upside, I have lost a few kg-s because I am unable to go to the refridgerator in the evening and have a little snack. If there is no food around, one cannot eat too much food. The irregular eating habits have, however, proven to be not so healthy for me, so my family doctor has suggest that I eat probiotics.

There is another side to it. The kitchen does really make a place of living home. One does not even have to cook very often, but there needs to be a possibility for cooking.

Money-wise, I thought that not having a kitchen would be tremendously expensive, because you need to always eat out. However, that seems not to be the case, my budget for food seems to be pretty much the same as it was when I had the kitchen, there is even small savings as I do not eat so much snacks. 

The biggest problem I have with not having a kitchen is actually not being able to cook. I did not think I would miss cooking so much, but I do. I am not an especially good cook, but I do.

So, I hope my kitchen will be ready soon. It will be a special kind of kitchen as I never just do anything in a normal way, but hopefully it will be a good kitchen for me. My requests were quite simple:

• it should not be or look like a regular kitchen (i.e. it should not be so massive woodwork structure), but with a simple kind beauty,
• there must be a refridgerator and a stove, everything else is extra. There should not be a microwave, as I do not like them.

Trust

Trust

by Michael Jackson

As I was feeding squirrels in the park, I noticed a small one that didn’t seem to trust me. While the others came close enough to eat out of my hand, he kept his distance. I threw a peanut his way. He edged up, grabbed it nervously, and ran off. Next time he must have felt less afraid, because he came a little closer. The safer he felt, the more he trusted me. Finally he sat right at my feet, as bold as any squirrel clamoring for the next peanut.

Trust is like that — it always seems to come down to trusting in yourself. Others can’t overcome fear for you; you have to do it on your own. It’s hard, because fear and doubt hold on tight. We are afraid of being rejected, of being hurt once more. So we keep a safe distance. We think separating ourselves from others will protect us, but that doesn’t work, either. It leaves us feeling alone and unloved.

Trusting yourself begins by recognizing that it’s okay to be afraid. Having fear is not the problem, because everyone feels anxious and insecure sometimes. The problem is not being honest enough to admit your fear. Whenever I accept my own doubt and insecurity, I’m more open to other people. The deeper I go into myself, the stronger I become, because I realize that my real self is much bigger than any fear.

In accepting yourself completely, trust becomes complete. There is no longer any separation between people, because there is no longer any separation inside. In the space where fear used to live, love is allowed to grow.

These wise words were written by Michael Jackson, of all people, in his book Dancing the Dream. I think there is a lot of truth to this. It has been difficult for me to trust people, and part of it is not being able to accept my own insecurity and fears.

Sad times

The Christmas have always been an important family event for me. These holidays have not been so happy as there have been sad events happening in my family.

In the pocket (Taskus)

I have been in Tartu yesterday and today. I had quite a lot of spare time, which I mostly spent in the brilliant new shopping and entertainment centre Tasku. I found some great things: the Rahva Raamat bookstore, where I bought two books (in order to learn French I bought Michel Houellebecq‘s “Les Particules élémentaires” and in order to satisfy my abnormal craving for Michael Jackson related information I bought Randy Taraborrelli’s “Michael Jackson: The Magic and the Madness”. The café at the bookstore, called Cookbook also serves great Chai. Tartu also has Estonia’s only Celio shop, where I bought a fedora and some other things. Celio is great, as it only has clothes for men and those clothes are relatively cheap. If you are after more expensive stuff, the centre also has Pepe Jeans, Levi’s Store, Blend of America, Guess, Esprit and others. There is an Apple authorised reseller iDream as well.

But the best thing about Tasku is the multiplex cinema Cinamon, which has reasonable prices and where I saw 2 great, but diametrically different films. On Saturday I saw “High School Musical 3: Senior Year,” which was wonderful, although perhaps for me already a bit too fast-paced. It used the same formula that worked well for the wildly successful made-for-TV previous intalments and it translated into the movie screen rather well. Kenny Ortega is a genius. The songs perhaps could have been a bit better, but on the whole it was great.

Today I saw the Estonian film “Detsembrikuumus (December Heat)“, which I actually liked even more. Estonian films have gone a long way, and I really think the film was brilliantly done and acted. I especially liked Tõnu Kark, but the whole experience was so good. The film is about the attempted Soviet coup in Estonia on 1 December 1924, but there were references also to today’s challenges throughout the film.

I used to dislike Tartu, but now I cannot wait before I can return here. The Tasku centre is a worthy addition to the magic of Tartu.

The Cartoons of My Childhood

I was surfing around the web and discovered the Smurfs had a 50th anniversary yesterday. I wanted to highlight some of the cartoons that I watched (and I did watch a lot of TV as a child). In addition to the smurfs there were 2 great shows that were important in shaping who I am.

Once upon a time … life was a brilliant and educational cartoon about the human body:

Maya the Bee:

I watched all of these shows on Finnish TV, of course, as I was born in the early 1980s.

1 September

Today was the start of the new academic year. Interesting things happened:

• attended the opening ceremony at the university, which was nice, especially the music;
• signed the new employment contract;
• had for breakfast and lunch cake which was offered on the occasion of the start of the academic year;
• had two introductory lectures for two courses I will teach (after a break in teaching since march);
• went cycling at kakumäe, came back to Koidu home with the bike in rain, got very wet;
• koidu home was still rather cold, and I was cold and wet (see above) so decided to heat up the sauna, went to the sauna, enjoyed it.

Busy vacationing

Vacation is hard work. Today was the first day of my vacation, so naturally I was at work finishing some unfinished business. This evening, however, I will escape from the city and spend a few days in Western Estonia, including Haapsalu and Saaremaa.

I will be back in Tallinn again for the Thrusday evening Estonian pre-premiere of the Dark Knight. Friday will be full of things to do and then I will have again some breathing room next weekend. I try to spend as little time in Tallinn, partly also due to the fact that my new home lacks for the moment some essential things like kitchen, curtains, bed and a clothes closet.

Studio apartment (30 m2) for rent in Tallinn City Centre

This summer has been full of work until now and now I am also moving to a new apartment, which means a lot of hassle, inconvenience etc. Hopefully it will be worth the trouble.

If anyone is interested, I am renting my old studio apartment (30m2) in the city centre (Jõe 7, Tallinn; 6th floor) for ca 5000 EEK / 320 EUR per month + quite small (less than 1000 EEK per month) communal costs. The apartment is going to be fully re-furbished and re-furnished (with the help of a professional interior designer) and available hopefully from mid-August. It is small, it is in a big building with a lot of other people, but it has a fantastic location (near the port, next to the World Trade Center Tallinn).

My day

Today was a day off from work, and it was remarkable in that it was quite eventless, so that it can actually be condensed into a paragraph: I woke up at 9am, surfed the internet, had a nap at noon, woke up again at 2pm, made myself some dumplings (Pelmeenid tilliga), ate them and started cleaning my drawers and the room. By 7pm, I had done most of the cleaning, left on the robotic vacuum cleaner, took the laundry out to be washed and had a Nizza salad at Vapiano, then went back home and now I am watching TV.

Yesterday, was a more eventful day, I saw Franz Ferdinand at Õllesummer and did some other stuff.

Sunburned

So today I decided to sunbathe a little bit while reading some thesises I am supposed to review. I lost track of time and therefore am now red and aching all over my body. I am also mildly dizzy and should probably go to sleep.

The lesson of the day: do not sunbathe around noon and do not stay in the sun for too long. High exposure to UV-radiation is the leading cause of skin cancer.