Go to www.berlininriga.com for more information about the events.

We have certain democratic institutions and efforts should be made to make them more open, more inclusive and working for the people. Instead, this project has been created in which I fail to see any point. Last year was good, trash was gathered and that was great, but what on earth is this thing?

Sometimes I feel that I live in a parallel universe, I feel somehow disconnected from the society. The My Estonia project makes me feel even more disconnected, because it baffles me: was there a memo about it I never received? What on Earth has made some good people join this strange enterprise? What is it for?

Questions without answers. Come 1 May, money will be spent, people will have come together, data will be analysed, proposals will be made.

It’s not that I dislike campaigns. Sometimes campaigns are useful tools for remedying an aspect that has been overlooked or underdeveloped. But this campaign? I continue to be baffled about why such resources, such bright minds are being wasted on this curious project.

I do not think there has ever been something that I fail to ‘get’, which leaves me completely clueless as this My Estonia thing. It just does not click for me, no matter how hard I try.

So far I think I’ve spent more than 10 euros at the App Store, and it has been open for two days only…

It will not get better before there is accountability and stricter rules.

It is now I see and feel that calling once again,

To be a part of a Music that will not just connect but,

Make all feel One, One in Joy, One in Pain,

One in Love, One in Service and in Conciousness

- Michael Jackson

10 concerts at the O2 in London this July. Go to michaeljacksonlive.com

Palju õnne, Eesti!

I am selling my almost new mattress, because I bought a bed which requires a bigger mattress. The mattress is 140×200, orthopaedic and ecological, it feels really good to sleep on. I want 4 300 EEK for it, as I paid about 5 300 for it five months ago.

It looks superduperhypercool and I am very very pleased with the outcome. Hopefully it will be as great to use as to look at.

• no meat (except fish)
• no white bread, pastries or any other such stuff (only black bread or healthy bread is allowed)
• no sweets
• no alcholic beverages
• no sodas or lemonade (incl Pepsi and Dr. Pepper)

Uh-oh, this is going to be difficult.

Me: “I’ll have these”

Salesperson: “Do you pay with credit card?”

Me: “Yes” Hand over my Hansapank MasterCard Gold

Salesperson works with the machine, it shuts down, gets a new battery, asks my e-mail address, I give it to her.

Salesperson: “What’s your Zip-code”

Me: “I don’t live in the US”

Salesperson: “Oh, where are you from?”

Me: “Estonia, it is in Europe”

Salesperson: “Are you with these guys there, they are also from Estonia?”

And there was a couple from Estonia in the Apple Store in Green Hills mall in Nashville jsut before closing time buying a MacBook. We had a brief exchange, I told I was here for to visit Vanderbilt and they said they were just visiting as well. So, you can really meet Estonians everywhere in the world…

P.S. Funny-named designer discovered at Saks Fifth Avenue: James Perse (perse means ass in Estonian).

For nightlife there are two distinct places: glitzy, touristy Bourbon Street and the alternative, hipster Frenchmen Street. Both have live music venues (I don’t think I have ever been in a city where there is so much of live music everywhere in the streets). The difference is that Bourbon Street in the French Quarter is bigger and louder with more people (tourists), but Frenchmen Street in the Faubourg Marigny area has better music and more distinctive places to go to (such as d.b.a, Apple Barrel, and a really nice gay boosktore). Both areas are definitely worth checking out. 

New Orleans cannot really be described, it has to be experienced. It is quite unlike any other place I have been to, and I have only scratched the surface of this magnificent, but also deeply dramatic city. Katrina is still in people’s hearts and minds here and I get the feeling that the city and its inhabitants are in the early stages of healing and restoring. There is the spirit and potential, but with the emerging economic problems and growing crime rates, the New Orleans that once existed might never re-emerge. I hope it will, as there is so much spirit, character and culture here worth saving.

P.S. NOLA means New Orleans, Louisiana. It is also referred to as the Big Easy or The Crescent City.

Thrusday: Breakfast at the Commerce on the corner of Gravier and Camp in the CBD (huge Omlette with Cheddar, served with Grits and Pastries under 5 dollars), walk along the Magazine street to Uptown (lots of small speciality stores and boutiques), took the St. Charles Avenue streetcar back to Canal Street, in the evening had a delicious dinner at Antoine’s Restaurant.

Friday: Walked around French Market and the Shops at Canal Street, visited Café du Monde and the riverfront. Enjoyed live music at the Crazy Lobster near the river.

I added some photos from New Orleans to flickr.

We will be in New Orleans until Monday morning, after which we go to Nashville, Tennessee. I will write more soon.

I lived without a kitchen before, but then it was for a shorter period and I did live at a location which was at the heart of the city so whenever I was hungry I could very easily go to a shop or café. In my new place, I have still not located a suitable place, although I guess Kristiine Keskus will do if necessary. I thought having no kitchen would make me more free, instead it has limited my options: I have to struggle to find a place to eat, there is limited amount of foods that can be prepared with just hot water kettle, etc etc.

On the upside, I have lost a few kg-s because I am unable to go to the refridgerator in the evening and have a little snack. If there is no food around, one cannot eat too much food. The irregular eating habits have, however, proven to be not so healthy for me, so my family doctor has suggest that I eat probiotics.

There is another side to it. The kitchen does really make a place of living home. One does not even have to cook very often, but there needs to be a possibility for cooking.

Money-wise, I thought that not having a kitchen would be tremendously expensive, because you need to always eat out. However, that seems not to be the case, my budget for food seems to be pretty much the same as it was when I had the kitchen, there is even small savings as I do not eat so much snacks. 

The biggest problem I have with not having a kitchen is actually not being able to cook. I did not think I would miss cooking so much, but I do. I am not an especially good cook, but I do.

So, I hope my kitchen will be ready soon. It will be a special kind of kitchen as I never just do anything in a normal way, but hopefully it will be a good kitchen for me. My requests were quite simple:

• it should not be or look like a regular kitchen (i.e. it should not be so massive woodwork structure), but with a simple kind beauty,
• there must be a refridgerator and a stove, everything else is extra. There should not be a microwave, as I do not like them.

Trust

As I was feeding squirrels in the park, I noticed a small one that didn’t seem to trust me. While the others came close enough to eat out of my hand, he kept his distance. I threw a peanut his way. He edged up, grabbed it nervously, and ran off. Next time he must have felt less afraid, because he came a little closer. The safer he felt, the more he trusted me. Finally he sat right at my feet, as bold as any squirrel clamoring for the next peanut.

Trust is like that — it always seems to come down to trusting in yourself. Others can’t overcome fear for you; you have to do it on your own. It’s hard, because fear and doubt hold on tight. We are afraid of being rejected, of being hurt once more. So we keep a safe distance. We think separating ourselves from others will protect us, but that doesn’t work, either. It leaves us feeling alone and unloved.

Trusting yourself begins by recognizing that it’s okay to be afraid. Having fear is not the problem, because everyone feels anxious and insecure sometimes. The problem is not being honest enough to admit your fear. Whenever I accept my own doubt and insecurity, I’m more open to other people. The deeper I go into myself, the stronger I become, because I realize that my real self is much bigger than any fear.

In accepting yourself completely, trust becomes complete. There is no longer any separation between people, because there is no longer any separation inside. In the space where fear used to live, love is allowed to grow.

These wise words were written by Michael Jackson, of all people, in his book Dancing the Dream. I think there is a lot of truth to this. It has been difficult for me to trust people, and part of it is not being able to accept my own insecurity and fears.

I agree wholeheartedly, Barack Obama is the most significant person of 2008, and hopefully he will keep up the good work. 

TIME: Person of the Year 2008

I wonder what possessed me to buy the ticket to this film.

Die Welle (The Wave) is a film about totalitarianism and how people can find in authoritarianism the missing structure or fulfilment. I would say it was a cross between the Estonian film Klass and the german film Das Experiment. I have been interested in the impact of totalitarianism and what makes people act in this way for a long time (a good source is Hannah Arendt’s work), and this film dealt with the topic quite bluntly.

Waltz with Bashir is a powerful anti-war documentary, with a distinct animated style. It was almost entirely in Hebrew, but the stories and the scences were vivid. A great, great film with a great mission.

Absurdistan is a tale about a small forgotten village in which problems start brewing when the local water pipeline breaks and the happenings that take place after that. It is a very humanistic comedy, and it leaps into the realm of absurd in order to make the points. It is beautifully and very artistically shot, I liked the style of it. I gave it 4 stars in the SMS vote.

Hamam (The Turkish Bath) is a touching film about relationships, but also about issues within postmodern life, family, tradition, David vs Goliath. It is multilayered, but it never gets too strong with pathos, instead it slowly eases the viewer into the scene. I liked the movie exactly because so many themes had been fit into one movie.

Watch the trailer of the Jacksons are coming and clips The Cash You Save, Baby Sister.

The Spa has all you need for relaxation. There are a number of different pools and saunas and some I really liked. The buffet food was exquisit, the rooms are spacious and included a small minibar filled a few free(!) drinks. There is a nice cafe in the basement.

Highly recommended.

Hopefully Obama’s election has a world-wide impact and it inspires new kind of politics all over the world, including here is Estonia.

Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me, and the entire human race.

Flashback from 1992:

But then I loved the swing version even more:

But the best thing about Tasku is the multiplex cinema Cinamon, which has reasonable prices and where I saw 2 great, but diametrically different films. On Saturday I saw “High School Musical 3: Senior Year,” which was wonderful, although perhaps for me already a bit too fast-paced. It used the same formula that worked well for the wildly successful made-for-TV previous intalments and it translated into the movie screen rather well. Kenny Ortega is a genius. The songs perhaps could have been a bit better, but on the whole it was great.

Today I saw the Estonian film “Detsembrikuumus (December Heat)“, which I actually liked even more. Estonian films have gone a long way, and I really think the film was brilliantly done and acted. I especially liked Tõnu Kark, but the whole experience was so good. The film is about the attempted Soviet coup in Estonia on 1 December 1924, but there were references also to today’s challenges throughout the film.

I used to dislike Tartu, but now I cannot wait before I can return here. The Tasku centre is a worthy addition to the magic of Tartu.

Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8.

Google had announced their opposition to the constitutional amendment last month. 

By conventional wisdom, it is usually a tricky thing for corporations to be involved in what may be perceived as political matters, as there is the worryl that potential customers may be put off by this. However, I think that this paradigm is changing and people want to consume products by companies that have a positive brand value. Apple and Google have generated a lot of good karma for themselves, hopefully more companies will follow suit and step up for what they think is right. In the long run it brings more loyal customers and therefore also profit.

Once upon a time … life was a brilliant and educational cartoon about the human body:

Maya the Bee:

I watched all of these shows on Finnish TV, of course, as I was born in the early 1980s.

• being able to get on or off the boat to Helsinki or Stockholm and walk a few minutes and be home;
• having breakfast at the Fashion café opposite your home or nice and cozy Tiigrikäpp; 
• working at World Trade Centre and going from home to work in one minute; 
• partying late in the Old Town or in the City Centre and not having to worry about getting a taxi or public transport;
• going running or rollerskating to Kadriorg or Pirita.

This all and more is possible when you rent my city centre apartment where I lived for two years. I have refurbished it and am renting it out now as I have found another place to live.

You have to pay me 5 000 4 500 Estonian kroons (ca 320 288 euros) per month plus communal costs. 

The only upside is that it also works with a Mac. It is an example of how a great idea gets executed poorly.

Are there any good computer games out there any more (besides Guitar Hero)?

• Wall-E: Incredible. Pixar has again delivered something different but truly extraordinary. There are no words to describe the brilliance of Wall-E.
• Mina olin siin: Interesting to see shots of Tallinn in a film. Quite a lot of swearing and the like, but overall I liked the film. 
• Pineapple Express: the best comedy I have seen for a long while. I really laughed a lot. It was kind of unexpected that a movie that some people still know how to make genuienly funny movies. Also on the plus side: James Franco! I did not like the weed theme as even mild narcotics are completely foreign to me.
• The Nines: Ryan Reynolds in a rather bizarre mystery that has a twist at the end. I liked it quite a lot.
• P2: A clever and fast paced horror film, that is somewhat predictable but still very enjoyable.
• Speed Racer: I cannot help but to like the style and the imagination that has gone into making this movie. I was not expecting what I saw, but it was enjoyable. It is substantially different from any other film I have seen.

There are people who like to construct their reality and then impose it on others. The trouble Russia, China, and other autocratic nations are in, is that they have constructed (or rather the reality has been constrcuted for them) is not compatible with what other people or nations consider to be fair or just. The leaders of  countries should have the obligation to enable people to co-exist peacefully, they should bring people together. Whenever the realities of large numbers of people substantially conflicting and have as their aim to exclude others, everyone will be in trouble.

This does not mean that everyone’s realities should be identical, rather opposite. The diversity of opinions is great, and allows to expand your mind, but people should be more understanding of the realities others have constructed.

Nobody knows if the US economic stimulus package works or not. There are those who claim that it makes no difference, as worldwide trust in the US government is still very low. Perhaps this will change if Obama is elected president.

Whether we want this or not, the US has been a longtime leading force in the world, the only superpower in the democratic world since 1945, and in the world since 1991. However, the last eight years have seen American leadership turn sour, with the Iraq war, the Russian attack on Georgia, and the global credit crises. The US cannot have it both ways: they are either responsible leader of the world and expect to be treated like this, or they are not. For the last eight years they have not provided the kind of leadership as required, which means that there is a power vacuum, which created fear and uncertainty, which in turn brings more volatility and less prosperity.

Perhaps this economic crisis was necessary for the economy to be rebuilt using more sustainable methods. Perhaps this will be the big chance to combat the looming environmental catastrophe. Perhaps not. Perhaps it will provide distraction for enacting greedy, self-serving policies.

Talking about the environment: is not having children the most environmentally friendly thing anyone could do? I am not sure I agree with this completely, but perhaps the answer would be to promote more adoption as an eco-friendly solution to the overcrowding of the world with people. At least in Estonia, where having more (Estonian) babies is the percieved raison d’être of the Estonian state, one would probably be ostracised for making this argument.

In the meantime I have had a nice birthday and other things are developing nicely.

I wanted to give a new remark about the new TV show Tõehetk (The Estonian version of the Moment of Truth). I think the show is especially vicious and it is a crime against the human civilization. It plays on the vice of greed to satisfy the public’s almost unlimited infringement on the game participant’s privacy, which I value as especially precious. I am scum for having watched it and I’ll try not to watch it any more.